43. Rocket Man

She packed my bags last night, pre-flight
Zero hour: 9:00 a.m
And I’m gonna be high as a kite by then
I miss the Earth so much, I miss my wife
It’s lonely out in space
On such a timeless flight

🎶

For the umpteenth time in these past months, Cortez found himself brooding. He had been spending most of his time brooding, actually. It wasn’t just useless brooding. The more correct term, Cortez felt the need to add, was thinking. He was thinking. Scheming, even.

He wasn’t wallowing. That was something he was NOT doing. Really. He was thinking. What was he thinking about, then, you ask? He was thinking about how to free Matteo from Titus’ claws on Sixam.

Unfortunately, all that thinking hadn’t done his real life any good. First, he got fired. Had barely been able to believe it—he was their chief, for Christ’s sake. But apparently even chiefs could get fired after they didn’t show up for work for 10 consecutive days.

Then, his wife confronted him.

“I don’t know what’s the matter with you, but this has to stop,” she said. Her voice was accusing. “You haven’t so much as touched me in months, let alone… You barely even look at me, Cortez.”

He heard her voice, but couldn’t focus much on the words—in his mind, he was still working passionately on his plan to reach Matteo.

“Yeah, yeah…” he muttered, not bothering to look up at her.

Just like that, Edith had had it. Pulled up her hands in utter frustration. “Look at me!!” she all but screamed. Finally, startled by her words, he did. “God, what’s the matter with you?!”

“Look, I’m just… I’m going through something, alright?” he called back, very much on the defensive.

“What is it?” she asked. Her voice didn’t sound sympathetic—rather, she sounded demanding.

“I don’t have to tell you everything.”

Edith huffed. “I’m at the end of my rope here, Cortez. You won’t go to work, you won’t even go out, you won’t talk to me… you just spend all your time sitting on the couch wolfing down comfort foods, hurling insults at some guy named Titus…” Off his look, she elaborated. “Oh, yeah, I heard you. Your thought processes are… loud, to say the least.”

“I’m just… Just give me some time, will you?” he sounded more angry than he’d cared to. “Just… get off my back, woman. For once, get off my fucking back.”

That was it. “Oh, you…” her voice was strangled. “You absolute fucking shitbag. Here I am, trying to take care of you, when you don’t even deserve…” her voice trailed off. When she spoke again, she sounded significantly more robust. “Yeah, you know what. You don’t actually deserve it. I’m done, Cortez.”

“What do you mean you’re done?!” Cortez called. “I haven’t done a fucking thing—”

“—Exactly. You ‘haven’t done a fucking thing.’ I’m tired of you. I’m tired of dealing with some lazy, sad couch potato. I deserve more than that.”

“So, you’re… what? You’re dumping me now?”

Edith didn’t respond to his words; her look said enough.

The next moment, Cortez found himself bursting into tears.

“Don’t dump me, Edith,” he cried. “I… I need you right now, alright? I need you!”

Edith closed her eyes… and scoffed. “Goodbye, Cortez.”

Edith hadn’t just dumped him; she had also kicked him out… of his own home, no less! Maybe he should have gone and bought an actually registered house after all.

---

StrangerVille, January 10, 062

Two disguised aliens sat inside a rundown trailer in the cheapest area Simusa had to offer: the StrangerVille trailer park. They weren’t much focused on each other—for both of them, by far the largest portion of their attention was spent on the blunts in their hands.

Finally, after what felt like (and they were pretty sure had actually been) hours, one of them turned to the other, and actually managed the effort to open his mouth and speak.

“Well…this is pathetic,” Tika observed. His voice was casual and matter-of-factly. There wasn’t much emotion to be found in it.

Cortez figured the observation needed no reply; they both knew the truth of it.

“I don’t know how I ended up here,” Tika went on. By now, the emotion was back in his tone. Cortez struggled to bear the whininess in it. He only barely managed to look sympathetic; embarrassing as it was, he was still Tika’s guest, here. “Everything went so well. I was finally something. Next thing I know, I’m here. I don’t know what happened.”

“You stole someone’s face. The Earthlings didn’t like it.” It was Cortez’ turn to make casual, emotionless remarks now.

Tika rolled his eyes. “Ugh. Earthlings. How I hate them. A bunch of wussies, is what they are. They don’t know how hard it is, for an alien like me..” Tika’s voice trailed off for a bit. It came back more forceful. “Fuck them. I’m done with Earth. Fucking done with it, is what I am. I don’t need this hellhole of a planet to be my home. It never has, and never will be. All it’s ever done for me is screw me to fucking hell and back. Well, no more. I’m done with this planet.”

Cortez lit another blunt. He exhaled deeply before he responded to Tika’s words.“Then go with me to Sixam.”

Immediately, Tika’s face lit up. “Really?”

Cortez shrugged. “I’m off there anyway. Might as well join.”

For the first time in what felt like (and probably was) months, a smile managed to find its way to Tika’s lips. Even as Cortez went back to stare at the smoke in his hands, Tika continued to smile at him.

“I’m ready,” he finally spoke.

***

But Cortez wasn’t ready. He wasn’t anywhere close to ready, really. He was still nowhere near to developing an actual plan. Wasn’t even sure how they could get to Sixam, let alone face Titus… which Tika didn’t know a thing of, yet.

Things weren’t exactly looking great for Cortez.

Tika had followed him outside and when he saw his dejection, he came over to comfort Cortez. Wasn’t sure what it was that was bugging him… but he had an idea.

“Hey, come on,” he started. “That Edith, she really wasn’t worth it. Remember what I told you the last time? We don’t need these Earthlings. It’s time we embrace our true selves again… this time truly. Earth may not appreciate us for who we are, but we still have a planet that does. It’s time we go back to our roots, Cortez. For real this time.”

When he saw Cortez perk up, Tika went on with renewed motivation. “Right?” he pressed.

“Yeah…” Cortez started. He hesitated. Spent a few good minutes thinking before he spoke again. He knew Tika would not like what he had to say. “So here’s the thing, Tika. The reason why I want to go to Sixam is… I kind of made a mistake. A fairly stupid one, I’ll admit. It may or may not involve Titus.”

At once, the pleasantness disappeared from Tika’s face; it was replaced by a wary, very much not amused expression. “Please tell me this is some non-blue, non-earring and -colander wearing Titus.”

Cortez fidgeted awkwardly. “I may have accidentally… extradited your grandson Mateo—you know, the vampire one that was fathered by that shitty son of yours that you refused to tell him about—to Titus. Blue, earring- and colander-wearing Titus.”

“Extradited…” once the extent of Cortez’ ‘mistake’ fully downed on Tika, he found himself filling with rage. “How the fuck do you accidentally extradite my… my grandson to some evil tyrant?”

“Look, I didn’ think things through, alright? Thought they might be interested in knowing ’bout this vampire hybrid. Figured it my duty to share, what with me being an El…” he only just caught himself in time. Went on in a haste. “I thought they might be interested, but I didn’t think they’d be this interested.”

“You didn’t think my father would be interested in some navy-skinned child wearing his legacy with extra powers to boot?! All that time spent on this godforsaken planet really did waste your fucking brain, didn’t it?”

“It may not have been my smartest move, but that still does not make me dumb. You have any idea who you’re talking to, here?”

“Oh, so I’m not talking to the absolute fucking shithead that decided to deliver an innocent child of mine to the asshole I hate the most on a silver fucking platter?!”

“You sure had no problem discarding that ‘child of yours’ back when you first found out about it.”

“Yeah, and I admit to that mistake. You need to set this straight. You need to get that child from under that dickhead’s clasp and you need to do it soon. And when you get him back—not if, but when—you give him to me. I’ll make sure he goes someplace he actually belongs. Where was his mother in all this, anyway? Where was Suze?”

“Suze left.”

Tika scoffed. “Of course she did. Well, that makes my argument all the stronger. You need to get the kid back, and I’ll right my wrongs with Emil and tell him about him. Sure, he’ll be mad at first, but I’m sure once he’s got his child in his arms…”

“Right. You’ll just casually tell Emil you kept the existence of his son from him for years. It’s not like he’s not already no longer on speaking terms with you.”

As soon as Cortez started about Tika’s children—a topic currently very sensitive to him, after they had all decided to refuse to speak to him following the Incident—Tika’s expression changed. His anger shifted into something he felt more passionately about; to something that had been plaguing him not just for these past few months, but for years.

“Those damned kids of mine and their anger for me… They don’t know how lucky they are. They’re so quick to judge me, with all their Earthly knowledge. ‘Oh, Tika, you’re such a shit father.’ ‘You never bothered to raise us.’ ‘You don’t even love us.’ Meanwhile, I was raised on Sixam, where love doesn’t exist and the word ‘upbringing’ means ‘do exactly what your father says to follow his legacy.’ I would say that, given the circumstances, I did a damn good job… And they have the luck of never having to find out just how much worse it could’ve been.”

Cortez nodded with agreement. “They’re spoiled like all Earthlings are. They’ll find out about that fact someday, if they care to.”

Tika shot Cortez a look. He still wasn’t quite done being angry at him. “Mateo will have to find out.”

“That’s what I’m here for. That’s why I came,” Cortez responded. He sounded more haughty than he looked. “To save him.”

“After you were the one to get him into that plight in the first place.”

Yes, I did. I got him into this shit, and now it’s my job to get him out of it. But I can’t do it alone.”

Tika heaved a sigh. “My fucking father. I can’t face him again.”

“You need to. And not just for Mateo. Join me, and show your father how wrong he was to discard you.”

“Wrong?” Tika sounded a humorless laugh. Pointed at himself and his unkempt appearance. “Look at me. If anything, he was right. He told me I was destined to be a failure. All my life I have proved nothing more than that he was right.”

Cortez shrugged. “Least you managed to survive Sixam’s harshest punishment. Survived Earth, even. They sure as hell didn’t think you would.”

“Yeah, I survived. That’s all you can say about me.”

Another shrug. “In’t that enough?”

Tika rolled his eyes. Cortez went on. “Isn’t that all life is about, is to just survive? Isn’t that what we’ve all been doing, surviving? I know I have. I have been alive longer than you could possibly even fathom… and I can say with 100% certainty that that’s what I’ve been doing.”

If that’s all you’ve been doing, then your life must have been dull as hell.”

“Least I live.”

“Least you live,” Tika responded sarcastically. “I want more than that.”

“You don’t know what you want.”

“I want power. Respect.”

“You go off seeking power, you’ll end up like the man you hate the most. Your father.”

“Well, at least he’s got a successful life, doesn’t he?”

“To what extent? I’ve known Titus for a long, long time… believe me when I tell you his power is all he has. And here’s the thing about power, Tika. It’s nothing more than a tiny ball, hanging on by the loosest, tiniest thread. One slight bump and it’ll fall and roll off to the next power-hungry shithead that comes along. Titus knows this, and he fears it… more than anything else. He knows that the one thing he has, could be taken away from him–” he snapped his fingers together. “–just like that. And it has turned him into a repugnant, paranoid mess. You don’t want that.”

Tika looked at him. Contemplated his words. It took a while before he spoke again. “So what do you want me to do? I don’t have anything to add that you don’t already have.”

“We stand stronger together.”

Tika snorted. “I got nothing to add.”

“Not with that attitude. You want to go back to Sixam? I have to be in Sixam. You help me out, and you get your prize. Once we get to Sixam… you won’t have to spend another minute on Earth.”

Tika’s look turned more sharp. Finally, he turned away and scoffed. “Fine.”

Feeling the effects of the weed wear off, Tika took another smoke and lit it. The trembling of his hands did not go unnoticed to Cortez, who acknowledged—to himself, since he was still far too proud to ever really admit the extent of his wrongdoings to another—that he really had screwed up. And he had to admit: he was surprised by how easily Tika’s anger towards him had subsided. He deserved far more of a lashing, even if he said so himself. Tika’s lack of it felt… concerning, to say the least.

He had heard about the scandal; had heard how he had been dumped by his fiancée, kicked out of his own house, and lost his short-lived battle for custody over the child he had actually been excited to raise. Had heard how he got downgraded by his agency, was forced to relocate to one of the least desirable—worse even than Forgotten Hollow—places in all of Simusa, because it was the only place where he could hide from the press and fans and haters, all of whom were more than eager to exploit his tragedy.

Cortez rolled his eyes. Earth. Though the word ‘decency’ existed in their languages, he was fairly sure most had never learned to practice it. And Tika, who had, unfortunately, already been all too familiar with scandals (they had gotten him kicked out of Sixam too), didn’t seem to have the energy to deal with another. It was all too plain to Cortez, and he was dismayed to see it.

***

A little while later, Tika found himself outside, staring over the landscapes of StrangerVille. Tried to force out the memories those landscapes brought back of Emil and Calder, his only children who had actually cared to stand him. Now even they refused to answer his calls.

He looked out over the landscapes and thought. As he did, he felt a rush of hatred coming over him, stronger than any he had ever felt before.

He hated Earth. Absolutely hated it. And now that he no longer had anything to keep him here, he was ready to leave this planet for good.

***

Over the course of the next few weeks, Cortez worked harder than ever to get them towards their goal of reaching home planet Sixam. While he told Tika about all the ideas he knew would never actually work with a confidence he had gotten very good at feigning…

…Admittedly quite enjoying the easygoing, secluded life StrangerVille had to offer (its weather sure was better than the icy hell that had been Willow Creek, too)…

…He, to his utmost frustration, couldn’t really get anywhere with the task at hand. He tried everything. Remembering the whole supernatural mystery Emil had somehow (unfortunately) been able to solve, he went around to ask the still-quite-peculiar-looking residents of the town about any particular sightings, or objects… anything, really, that might help him get along. All without luck.

But Cortez was not one to lose hope, soon. Went and forced the bookworm within him to come out and read some books on said Mystery of StrangerVille…

…Waiting outside the library for any of the figures he had read about in the books to appear…

(All the while, Tika was doing some very… hard work of his own.)

…Cortez gradually lost his patience. This godforsaken town, Cortez found, looked more deserted than ever. Worse even than before, when it was still plagued by strange plants and even stranger people. There was no one to be found, not on the streets nor in any of the buildings. None of the military folks he read about in his research, none of the colander-wearing dorks, no scientists. He was about to lose his mind. Where the hell was everyone?!

When he finally found a scientist-looking figure, Cortez approached him immediately. But what he told him, left Cortez with little of the joy the scientist proclaimed.

“It’s finally over. No more extraterrestrial plants on our soils… no more possessed folks galloping round town… we’ve been freed. StrangerVille today is no more than just another cozy, ordinary desert town, and if we’re to believe the reports, the town should be blooming within no-time. And we all have Emil Madden to thank for that!”

Ordinary. Ugh. Cortez face fell into an expression of disgust. Thanks very much, Emil Madden, Cortez thought bitterly. So your streak of hindrance continues.

---

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time
‘Til touchdown brings me ’round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no, no, no
I’m a rocket man
Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone.

— Elton John