27. Nativitatis Miserabilis

Dies iræ, dies illa
Solvet sæclum in favilla,
Teste David cum Sibylla.

Quantus tremor est futurus,
Quando Judex est venturus,
Cuncta stricte discussurus!

📃

Calo had to admit – life had definitely come to bite him in the ass. After he got kicked out by Bella and was left on the streets a weak, defenseless human, it was hard not to lose his spirit. He had been a vampire all his life – he had no idea how to be a human. How to survive. For a while, there, he didn’t even know if he wanted to. But he forced himself to keep his head held high: even as a human, he was still Calo Hoyt. Unlike what Riley had said, he had more than just his vampirism. He wasn’t a no one. He didn’t have nothing. And he would prove this to her – he was not yet defeated.

As horrible as it felt to knock on the door of someone he hadn’t felt like interacting with for decades, tail between his legs, he realized he had to swallow his pride in order to regain it and so knocked on his sister’s door, waiting for her to open.

Havana was surprised by her little brother’s visit, but not pleasantly.

“What do you want?” she hissed at him, refusing to open the door to him.

“Oh come on, sister.” Calo tried for a winning smile, but it came out phony. “Is that how you’re gonna treat your little brother?”

Havana rolled her eyes and moved to close the door in his face, but he cut in quickly, desperately.

“No, wait. I need your help, sis… I really do. Please. I have nothing left.”

After a moment of contemplation, Havana grudgingly opened the door and let him in. Listened to Calo’s sob story with disdain, face set in a rigid, unsympathetic expression.

“So that’s why I need to crash at your place for a while. It’s only a temporary sort of deal, I promise. Till I find something better. Please, sis,” he all but begged. “Don’t let me down now.”

But she did. “No,” she said – curtly and simply.

Calo’s face fell. “Oh, come on!” he protested. “I’m already at my lowest here. I admit that I haven’t been the best brother to you…. far from it, probably. But I have nothing left. You let me down and I end up in the gutter. Would you really spite me like that? After everything I’ve been through?”

Still, Havana could not be swayed – she held no sympathy for her little brother. “You caused this upon yourself, Calo! You did this to yourself. No one else. It was all you. You screwed up, and now you want me to take you in like the sad little puppy I know you’re not? It’s about time you face the consequences of your actions, Calo. I’m not gonna help you with that.”

Calo felt himself growing angry – how dare his sister reject him in such a sorry state?

“So you’re just gonna throw me out like old trash… leave me to fend for myself?! I thought we were a family,” he called out accusingly.

“We are,” Havana answered. Her voice was cold. “But you refused to be a part of it, so here you go. More consequences of your own actions.”

“I didn’t–” Calo started, but Havana cut him off.

“Get out, Calo,” she said coldly, pointing to the door. Resigned, Calo stood up. He wouldn’t let her see his defeat, though. Head kept held high, he looked down on her angrily.

“Fine, I’ll go. Just know that you just made a grave fucking mistake, Havana. I won’t be a human for long. I will get my powers back and when I do, you better watch your fucking back because I’ll be there, waiting to strike!!”

She wasn’t phased. “Sure, Calo.” With one last growl, Calo left – his pride and dignity having taken yet another big hit.

***

Just because his bitch of a sister didn’t care for any family code, Calo thought bitterly, didn’t mean he was out of options. He still had some options left. They were options he’d have preferred not to go with, but he was at the end of his rope. He needed a place to stay – and as much as he would never admit it, he needed a shoulder to cry on… or at the very least, to voice aloud his struggles, his anger. His sadness. He hated being a human, and the emotions it came with. Some of these emotions, he didn’t think he’d ever felt them before. He felt… vulnerable, not only from the outside, but also from within. And he hated every second of it.

But when Calo went to his father in one last desperate attempt, he got the same answer.

“Oh, Calo, god no,” was Remi’s initial response. “I mean, I have a family here… a big family… there’s no place left. This isn’t even my house, I couldn’t… no.”

After yet another rejection, Calo felt himself losing it. Pointed an accusing finger at his father. “Of course you wouldn’t. When have you ever cared about me anyway? You didn’t even care to raise me, Mom did.”

“Oh come on, that’s not fair–” Remi tried to interject, but Calo didn’t let him.

“It’s not fair? You know what’s not fair? Me getting shunned by my own family like some old family toy no one needs anymore. I never needed anyone, I never asked for your help. I’ve always lived for myself and did so happily. And now, for once… I need help, and you refuse it. For once in my life, I need you… and you’re refusing me like you’ve always done. Like you’ve always done with your family. When are you gonna stop prioritizing your ladies over your children?! I’m not even the first child of yours whose help you rejected. You truly are a shit father, Remi.”

By now, Remi was getting angry too. “Don’t you dare bring stuff into this that you know nothing about,” he hissed.

“I know what it feels like,” Calo protested. “Now I know how she felt, all those years ago… why she hated you for all those years. Why she hated me, because she must’ve thought I had what she didn’t – you. But I never had you. Never. You’ve never liked me. You’ve always preferred your other children over me. Vered, Havana… Reign… Guthrie. They were all better than me.”

“That’s not true,” Remi said vehemently. “I cared about you–”

“But it doesn’t do anything to you, to see me like this? In such a sorry state like this. You’re probably happy I’m no vampire anymore. You probably think I deserved to be turned human against my will like Mom did. You and your new family will probably go and laugh about my patheticness as soon as I’ve gone.”

“No, I wouldn’t–we wouldn’t. I just don’t have the space or the-the resources to take you in, is all. It’s not my call to make, I’m not the boss of this family. I can’t just let you live here against their will.”

“Yeah, cause they would never understand that you still have an actual family too that might need some help sometimes,” Calo called.

When Remi got up, he called after him indignantly. “Where do you think you’re going?!”

“I need a drink,” Remi said. He sounded tired. “We both do.”

Calo took a deep breath – and then forced himself to calm down. He knew anger wouldn’t get him anywhere with his father.

“Please dad.” His voice had softened considerably – Remi looked at him, surprised by his sudden change in mood. “I am your son. And I need you.”

Finally, Remi crumbled – could he really refuse another child of his his home? Hadn’t he learned anything from Guthrie?

Remi sat back down with Calo and took a long sip from his drink – trying not to look too much at the sad puppy eyes Calo was now throwing him. Sighed, and took a deep breath, then finally crumbled for real. “Alright. You can stay here until you’ve picked yourself up from the ground.” Cast his son a strict look. “But it’s temporary.”

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” Calo answered, trying to hide a self-satisfied smirk. How he had loved to guilt-trip his father. “You think I even want to live here any longer than I have to? I’m not the basement dweller type of guy, you know. I have power… or, well,” he went on, hanging his head. “I did. I don’t know how you did it, dad… the whole human transition. It’s so hard. I hate it. I’m so… weak and vulnerable,” he spit the words like they were filth, feeling disgusted with himself. “I don’t know how you did it.”

Despite everything, Remi did feel some sympathy for his son. “I was born a human,” he ultimately shrugged. “I’ve always known how it felt to be one.”

“Yeah, I didn’t,” Calo went on with his pity party. “It feels awful. I don’t know how humans do it. I feel so miserable, dad… I don’t have any purpose left in my life. What am I good for, these days? What do I have to offer? Nothing.”

He was sounding actually dejected now – Remi definitely felt sorry for him. “You have a lot to offer, son,” he tried to cheer him up. “You were the most talented child I’ve known. I’m sure you’ll land on your feet again. I have faith in you.”

For once, Calo actually appreciated his father’s comfort – for once, he could actually really use it. Even if he would never admit to that truth.

---

Three months. Three months and he was still right where he had been all along, living with his father’s abhorrent family-in-law.

Three months.

Calo heaved a deep sigh.

He hated everything about this place. He hated how tight the Romeos’ bonds were. Hated how they were shoving their whole nice family in his face – and he was entirely ensured that they are doing it on purpose. He was also fully aware of the fact that the only reason they were even putting up with him at all was because they felt sorry for him.

Sorry. For him.

He scrunched up his nose in disgust. There were times, not long ago, where he would’ve drained them dry, controlled their minds just to make them be mean to each other – and he’d have laughed at them while doing this. But instead here he was, a lowly, powerless human. And even though he was living with these people that weren’t his family and his father who was – though he wasn’t the family member Calo wanted – he was alone.

Looking at the reflection of himself that he never got to see, he all but hated himself. Hated how weak he was. If he could’ve just one wish…

Man, how he wished more than anything that he could – please – just be a vampire again. He didn’t work as a human. Every day was a pity party in Calo’s new life… he truly hated every second of it.

***

Of course, as Calo’s luck would have it, it was Winterfest – and apparently, this was marked as the Romeos’ favorite holiday. And while every member of the family was in great spirits, Calo was tugged along miserably.

They did kindly ask Calo if he wanted to participate. but he naturally refused. There was simply no way he’d be a part of that shit, he scoffed. Wasn’t a part of that family anyway – a fact they were all too aware of – so why even pretend to be? He felt absolutely no need to try and socialize with them.

And so while Remi was cooking their grand meal, Calo came over to complain to him.

“Look dad, no matter the way we put it… or how hard we pretend… I’m not a part of this family. Period. And for you to involve me in these… disgusting human ‘family traditions,'” he air-quoted the last words contemptuously, “It honestly feels insulting.”

For one short second, Remi pretended to feel for his son…

But just as quickly, his face straightened and his arms fell to his sides. “They have been nothing but kind and welcoming to you ever since you got here, Calo. So stop being an ungrateful brat and just join us. It’s only two damn days.”

“I’m not gonna join in those stupid traditions,” Calo protested.

“You’ll have to.”

“So what, you’re gonna force me?! I just told you how much I don’t connect with them, and now you’re forcing me to interact with them?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing. For the love of God, son… suck it the hell up.”

***

Of course, Calo wasn’t gonna go down without a fight. He’d endure this family… but not without trying to break it up completely in the process. They wanted him to be a part of this family? Fine, he would be. But he’d make sure they regretted it. A few days ago, Calo caught Otto talking to someone on the phone, telling them things like “this can’t go on like this – we have to stop.” As soon as he’d heard him say those words, he knew he should remember them. Who knows when they might come to use?

As Calo thought about that encounter, a grin formed on his lips. Now was the time to bring in that gem.

“If I were you, I’d track his ass down and get to the bottom of this.. because I gotta say, it sure don’t look good. I mean, it’s not like you couldn’t get any better than the guy.”

Putting on his winsome smile, he pretended to be sympathetic for her plight. “I have to admit, I still don’t know you all that well… but I think I know you well enough to say that you deserve a lot better than that man.”

***

Meanwhile, he also couldn’t help but make enemies with Valentino. When the latter showed him and dad Otto a drawing he had made for Santa, Calo scrunched up his nose.

“That doesn’t look good at all,” he said. “I very much doubt Santa would be happy with a drawing like that. I bet he’d fumble it up immediately and throw it in the trash. I mean, what even is that?” he pointed at something on the drawing. “Is that supposed to be a carriage? I can barely see it. When I was your age… my drawings were way better than this.”

Of course, Otto – who had been sitting right next to them – started raging at Calo immediately, but it only made the latter happier.

All he’d wanted was to get a rise out of these people… and god, was he managing beautifully. He was proud of himself.

***

Still, despite his best efforts Calo hadn’t managed to diminish the Romeos’ Christmas spirit – very much aware of Calo’s manipulative ways, they chose not to let him get to them.

Calo’s grin faltered, then faded completely, as a disappointed scowl replaced it.

Finally, Calo came to a realization. There was only one option left… and it wasn’t a pretty one.

Of course, Calo went ahead and did it anyway.

Now, as one can already guess, Remi wasn’t happy.

He really wasn’t happy.

As Calo went to go to his (i.e. Chaya’s) room that night, Remi was already waiting for him.

“I can’t believe you,” he started, voice harsh and disappointed.

“What?” Calo responded innocently. “I participated, didn’t I?”

Remi’s voice was dripping with fury by now. “The nerve of you is astounding, you arrogant, impudent boy,” he spat. “These people welcomed you into their home, opened their hearts to you, and you do nothing but give them shit.”

Calo looked at his father, defiant.

“I told you… there just isn’t that connection, dad,” he spoke with feigned sweetness, but everything about him was truculent.

“I’ve just about had it with you, you know that?!” Remi went on, still furious.

Calo just rolled his eyes and feigned a yawn. “Yeah yeah, you’re disappointed in me, I turned out awful, bladibladibla. Can you go now? I need my alone time… especially after a whole day of socializing with those idiots.”

“Oh hell no,” Remi answered. “That’s not how this is gonna go. If I ever hear you being shitty to these people again… even just once… I’m kicking you out. Alright? So you better start being nice… because I know you don’t have anywhere else to go and at this rate, I have absolutely NO problem kicking you out on the streets like that ‘old family toy’ you said you were, Calo. It’s about time you learn some respect, goddammit. So you either learn to respect these people… or you can go sleep under a bridge for all I care.”

With that he finally left, leaving behind a shaken Calo. To the latter’s dismay, the realization struck that he did actually kind of need this family – and that they were indeed all that stood between him and the cold, harsh streets outside. Dammit.

---

A/N: For those of you that read Pariah… yep, the Romeos are in fact Mara’s daughter Gioia with her husband and child! 😊 Mara herself unfortunately died of old age, as did ex-husband Sergio, but her children are still carrying on her legacy, and it’s not just on Chaya!