23. Far From The Madding Crowd

I have a dream for you
It’s better than where you’ve been
It’s bigger than your imagination
You’re gonna find real love
And you’re gonna hold your kids
You’ll change the course of generations.

🎶

For Tori, too, life went on as per usual. She was quick to pick up her usual routine. Problem was, her usual routine was not as quick to pick up her. Decided to go to San Myshuno and visit her favorite karaoke bar to sing her lungs out…

Of course, in Tori’s world a night out wouldn’t be a night out without at least one… altercation.

“If you think my singing is ugly, then why don’t you just say it IN MY FACE?”
“Jesus, woman. I was just asking when you were planning on giving others a turn. You know, since you been here screeching for more than an half an hour.”

“Also, your singing is ugly.”

Decided she was very much in need of a rebound, only this did not turn out to be as easy as she would have hoped it to be.

She had really lost her touch, there. Used to be able to make man swoon before her without so much as lifting a fingers. This was what being in a relationship had done to her.

She hated it.

And so a heavily pregnant Tori, by now feeling more bored than ever, ended up feeling forced to waste her nights away by playing chess… with Vlad, of all people. Don’t ask her how she had ended up like this.

She knew she was better than this.

***

So when it was finally time for the baby she had been carrying all this time, Tori could not be more happy. At this point, she had convinced herself that it had been him, who had caused her to have had this misfortune – that had made her all but unable to enjoy the single life again. After all, there was nothing less attractive than a pregnant woman; that’s what Tori had found herself thinking. That, and all those raging hormones inside of her, making her all emotional when she shouldn’t be – she was a vampire, for Christ’s sake… she couldn’t have stood it much longer.

Thankfully, she didn’t have to.

As she welcomed her newest addition to the family – what family? – there wasn’t much happiness to be found in Tori. There wasn’t any, really. What did she have to be happy about? All this child was, was an eternal reminder of a life she no longer led.

A life, she told herself, she was no longer interested in at all.

“Well, hey there… Calo,” she cooed, holding the baby in her arms, conjuring up his name on the spot. Thought that maybe if she pretended to be all happy, she would be able to fool not just the nurses around her – the last thing she wanted was for them to strike alarm – but herself, too.

It helped a little.

It didn’t help much.

***

She may or may not have forgotten to notify Remi of the birth of his son. But when he stood on her doorstep one night, his anger barely contained as he all but demanded her to see him, Tori fiercely stood her ground.

“No.”

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Remi spoke through clenched teeth. “He’s my own damn son.”

“No as in no, Remi. I don’t want you in here anymore.”

“You’re kidding, right now, right? You’re not really saying that you’re gonna forbid me from seeing my own son?”

“I don’t want to see you.”

Remi let out an angry huff. Couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Who cares? This is not about us. This is about our children.”

“They’ll understand.”

At this point, Remi couldn’t even speak anymore. Just stared at her, incredulous.

“I mean, it’s not like Havana and Vered would miss me, anyway. You know, since they have that new bitch of yours now to cuddle up with. What was her name? Gigi?”

“So that’s what this is about. You’re jealous that I may have found a new girlfriend…. and this is your way of punishing me.”

“That’s ridiculous. Why would I ever be jealous? She’s pathetic.”

Another huff from Remi. Decided to let that remark go. There were more important things for him to argue about. “You know it’s not just me you’re punishing with this, right?”

Tori shrugged indifferently. “If Havana and Vered want to visit me, they can go ahead. Long as I don’t have to see you.”

Remi shook his head, biting his cheek angrily. “God, you’re such a bitch.”

“Thank you,” Tori spoke, her voice still so absolutely indifferent. Remi couldn’t stand it. Started to walk away.

“And what about the baby?! I don’t even know his name!”

“His name is Calo.”

Amidst Remi’s angry calls, she walked back into her house and closed the front door behind her.

***

Of course, the first thing Tori did when she was finally all herself again, was find her that much-needed rebound. And she did. The guy hadn’t been her first choice, exactly… or her second… or her third. But he was into her, so ultimately… he’d do.

She was pretty sure he’d never take another shot at a vampire after this. Tori grinned. Good.

But as Karma would have it – really, Tori should have expected this – that one much-needed, honestly kind of meh (she’d had much better) encounter that was supposed to be no more than a one-off thing…. ended up being much, much more than that.

And that’s how, a few years later, she had not one, but two toddlers to take care of.

Great.

***

If Tori were entirely honest, she had always known, deep down, that she just wasn’t cut out to be a mother. It just Wasn’t Her. That’s what she told herself as she tried to justify her late parties, her continued absence, and her lack of parenting.

It wasn’t all her fault. She had never really asked for these children. Sure, she’d do right by them as much as she could – but nobody could blame her for wanting a moment to herself, every now and then. Besides, they had each other. It wasn’t like they were all alone. And they seemed to be more than capable of entertaining the other – more capable than she was, that was for sure.

So Calo had Caden… which was good, because whenever she had to interact with him, she could feel herself growing annoyed with him within seconds. She didn’t even know why. She just had no patience for him.

“Momma?”
Tori heaved a long sigh. “Yes, sweetie?”
“Where is daddy?”
Another long sigh. Shit. She should been prepared for this question, and yet she wasn’t. “Daddy is gone.”
“So where is he?”
“Well, not here, is he?!” she snapped. Saw Calo’s eyes starting to glisten.
“Daddy was busy screwing the girl next-door, and so mommy is here to take care of you. Don’t worry about him. You’ve got me, don’t you?”
Calo slowly nodded. A short moment of silence followed – until Calo broke it again. “What’s ‘screwing’?”
Dear lord. “Nothing,” she quickly said.

“Can I have more food, please?”
Ugh. “No, you can’t.”
“But I’m still hungry.”
“Well, that’s your own problem, then.”

She wasn’t an absolutely horrible mother, though. Really. She still had her moments…

Or moment. Whatever.

Calo sure didn’t seem to mind. He was the strongest, most self-sufficient boy ever. She really wasn’t doing him any bad. He was doing great, her boy.

Besides, she had Vered – who had actually decided to take up on her offer and started to visit her. How Tori had loved that; here he was, actively choosing for her, instead of Remi and that pathetic girl of his. A smirk crossed her face. Hah. Take that, Remi.

Vered was definitely Tori’s favorite. She wasn’t afraid to admit that. Was entirely sure every parent had a favorite child, as much as they would not want to admit it. She had no problem admitting it. After all, Vered had actually, actively chosen to be with her. He wasn’t like Calo, who kept asking for his father and only demanded attention every day. Wasn’t like Havana, who was all up in Remi’s new girl and would no longer even give Tori the light of day… betraying her own mother. No, Vered wasn’t like them. He was really hers. Could see her own face in him the most; Calo may have inherited her blond locks, but it was Vered whom she could really see herself in. Calo… whenever she looked at him, all she could see was Remi. He may have inherited her eyes, too…. but for the rest, he was all Remi.

But Vered wasn’t. Vered was Vered. And she loved him.